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Better Out Than In

by Julia Blair

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1.
Relax 03:01
You wanna touch me love me rest your chest on my cheek honey I've been told I have a tender soul but you're never gonna miss what you're never gonna know. You don't wanna listen to me unless I'm moaning on your sheets. Well I am clever, much more clever than you and I'm gonna keep doin what I wanna do. I'll tell you one thing I don't- I don't want to Relax I don't want to take a seat I don't want to Relax you know you always seem so pleased but I've seen how you treat my friends and I know where you've been so don't tell me Relax one more time. Says a father to his son- "Boy, don't be one of those sensitive ones" He says, "Daddy, you're gonna have to change because soon you'll be the one who's strange." I don't want to Relax I don't want to take a seat I don't want to Relax you know you always seem so pleased but I've seen how you treat my friends and I know where you've been so don't tell me Relax one more time. 
2.
Wanderin' 03:33
I am wanderin, I am wanderin and I’m thinking of you. As I walk down this quiet road I know you don’t think of me too. Oh darlin, darlin you left my side after I was untrue. You said it hurt too bad to give me a chance and you left to find someone new. But I’ve seen you smile and I’ve felt just fine since you left me because love’s a freight train and we were an old line heading to nowhere I see. It might be I’m too young to know what loneliness is but I think it’s all in your head- so the clouds and the moon are my friends tonight. I’ll walk with them instead.
3.
We all become something other than what we wanna be, in spite of us. Too short, too tall. The reason’s just keep stacking up for all the disbelievers to get loud. Fine time, to live. And time’s a waisting to truly live like there’s no tock to tick. We all become something other than what we wanna be, in spite of us. And all those awful places and all those ugly faces you gotta stare down to make the darkness go away, suck the venom from the wound, shine the light into the tomb. We all become something other than what we wanna be, in spite of us. If you’re too low to find what you want in life then who’d even care if you tried? We all become something other than what we wanna be, in spite of us.
4.
Lullabye One 01:43
Hush now baby don’t you cry.
 I can see that twinkle in your eye. Hush now honey, don’t say a word. Remember that life is absurd. If you feel like you never can win don’t look in. Because you’re only a loser if you feel like you’re losing.
5.
Barbara 05:35
There’ll be no funeral for Barbara today or tomorrow, so please go away. You may send us money to help bury the body but there’ll be no funeral for Barbara today. She would have liked if the kids gathered round with her brothers and sisters too. She would have liked to have shrimp cocktail and lemon pie, but most of all she’d have preferred not to die. If you’d seen her with her heart beating and red, if you’d asked if there was something we should have said- She’d go, 
“Don’t say sorry to me. Don’t say sorry to me. Don’t say sorry to me.” Before the dawn breaks, the hopeless run in place and no one’s eyes will focus on their face. They’ve been stuck inside for days and we keep telling ourselves that it’s only a phase. But if you’d seen them with their hearts beating and red, if you’d asked if there was something we should have said- they’d go, “Don’t say sorry to me, just listen a little more. Don’t say sorry to me, just believe me a little more.”
6.
Lullabye Two 01:27
Hush now baby don’t you cry. I can see that twinkle in your eye. Hush now honey no need to wake, the dawn is spinning round let’s wait for it to break.
7.
Please don’t come runnin’ to me anymore because I think I might like it if you did. And I know you won’t mean it the way that I do. Or, if you did, I’d never know. I’ve been shy, dry and dreary. So, it’s time I try for me. It’s time I try for me and I better give up on you. I hear sorry again. And I wanted you to be my friend. But it’s a contagious disease and you need to break it off at the knees. So I’m givin’ up on you.
8.
Just A Cue 03:50
Love to you is just a cue to fall right out of love again when it’s no longer new. Love to you is just a cue to break somebody’s heart again. To break someone’s heart again.
9.
Fantasize 03:23
Don’t look me in the eye ‘cause if you did you’d realize that I fantasize, I fantasize about you. You don’t know me very well but if you did then you could tell that I fantasize, I fantasize about you. I’m feelin up then I’m right back down when I think of you but you’re not around. When I got you in my head I got one thing to do- I fantasize about you. I know that you’re a smart boy but all I want is a sexual toy. So I fantasize about you. I’m feelin up then I’m right back down when I think of you but you’re not around. When I got you in my head I got one thing to do- I fantasize about you.
10.
Hush now baby don’t you cry.
I can see that twinkle in your eye. Hush now honey, don’t say a word. Remember that life is absurd. If you feel like you never can win don’t look in. Because you’re only a loser if you feel like you’re losing.
11.
Waste Away 03:22
It's been a long time since you felt that feeling inside. Since you ran dry- now you're lonely again. It's been years since you had your own bed- since your thoughts were your own in your head. You're reaching for anything you can and right now it's me, me, me. Well I could stay, I could stay and waste away.

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released February 24, 2022

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